Krysten Ritter for Americans for Marriage Equality

Videos Worth Seeing: "Hey Na Na" by Katie Herzig

Words to Live By

"We cannot be selective with civil rights. We must support civil rights for everybody or we don't support them for anyone."

-Al Sharpton

International Day Against Homophobia 2012

Nothing Is More Important Than How We Treat Each Other

Nothing is more important than how we treat each other.

These are words I’ve written more times than I count, the straightforward idealism of a simple man who believes with all his heart that all human beings deserve equality and dignity. It’s a notion that rises above religion, politics, dogma, conviction, bias and prejudice because none of those things matter when discussing the inalienable rights promised to all men and women by virtue of their very existence.

Well, none of these things should matter. Watching the inevitable fallout from President Obama’s proclamation that same-sex couples should be allowed to marry hasn’t been particularly surprising but nevertheless disheartening and a painful reminder of the ugliness we must still abide and the work we have yet to do. In the past several days we’ve seen renewed opposition toward equal rights for gay and lesbian Americans coming from our far-right politicians and religious leaders as they take to their pulpits and platforms to denounce the President for his “war on traditional marriage,” stating that he is "doing the devil’s work” by promoting equality and even going so far as to brand the President as a closet homosexual.

Oh, how the shamelessly ignorant rants of the stupid never cease to amaze me! Comments from Pat Robertson like “the union of two men doesn’t bring forth anything except disease and suffering” and Jerry Newcombe of Truth in Action Ministries that Obama’s announcement is “another nail in the coffin of the American Family” are just two examples of the insulting, fearful drivel that fills the small minds of small men, as is the offensive assertion by Paul Cameron of the Family Research Institute that “the long term goal of the homosexual movement is to get every little boy to grab his ankles and every little girl to give it a try,” and that marriage equality “is just a step along the way” to meet that grisly end.

As someone who purports to offer “rational thoughts for an irrational world,” I struggle sometimes with the inherent difficulties of processing such illogical nonsense as it spews forth from bigots who believe with all of their hearts that they’re somehow doing God’s work. To listen to them chant with such conviction that our sexuality is a disease that must be cured as they desperately try to convince one another that their version and interpretation of religion must be adhered to at all costs over science, reason, and compassion would be comical if it weren’t so very, very scary.

I think about their words and convictions, their intentions and far-reaching implications, and I pause. While promoting the basic truth that nothing is more important than how we treat each other, I try in earnest to give credence to the weight of religious doctrine and its importance in people's lives, and not dismiss its resulting bigotry outright; I try to see all sides of an issue from the perspectives of how someone was socialized or conditioned to think by their parents, their politicians, their peers and their pastors; I try to remember that within the soul of man exists complex patterns of doubt and desire, of shame and self-indulgence, of panic and passion; I try to find the strength within to remain patient, tolerant, and resolved.

And as I try to remember all of these things — all of the complicated and seemingly endless factors blinding humanity to its own hateful ways — these so-called "men of faith" and those in their thralls proceed without reservation with their toxic cruelty and vicious attacks directed toward us.

They publicly brand us as child molesters and rapists, unfit parents, sex addicts, sinners, and degenerates.

They teach their children to hate us, tell their government to oppress us, and beg their God to forgive us.

They vote on our rights and meet in large forums to question our integrity, debate our sanity, and ponder our humanity.

They bully us, beat us, taunt us, and abuse us, denying us the right to marry the person we love, or visit our dying partner in the hospital, or adopt a child and start a family.

They withhold insurance benefits and legal protections, organize boycotts to punish our supporters, and then watch with callous indifference as our youth endure unthinkable agony or take their own lives in terrified desperation.

They use fear as a weapon, ignorance as an excuse, and morality as a reason to behave like monsters … and then justify their obscene inhumanity in the name of decency, of religion, of God.

They doubt our very hearts and souls and then say that we shouldn’t take it personally, we unholy abominations who deserve to be subjugated, who deserve to be feared, who deserve to be vilified and treated with blatant disregard.

And they claim to do all of this to protect the fabric of society … to defeat a dangerous enemy … to defend themselves against the darkness that threatens to eclipse their light, as if the light was something to which only they were entitled. The hypocrisy stings my eyes and clouds my mind, provoking me to strike back with fists of fury and fight as dirty as they do, to brand them as unholy abominations who don’t deserve the air we breathe or the benefit of basic human respect.

But I don’t. Because I believe that nothing is more important than how we treat each other.

So I endure their hatred, indulge their hypocrisy, and cling tightly to my desire to hear them and understand them and educate them of their misguided ways with persistence and patience. Yet even in my concession to not allow their incoherent hatred to pull me down into their hellish prison of perpetual darkness — even as I recognize the intricate factors contributing to their homophobia and respect their right to hold true to whatever petty prejudices they perceive as righteous — I cannot resist making a proclamation of my own:

It doesn’t matter what you think your religion tells you about homosexuality. It doesn’t matter what you grew up believing about gay people. It doesn’t matter what the politicians and preachers are saying about homosexuals or all of the convoluted, involved reasons you think it’s appropriate or excusable to discriminate against another living, breathing human creation. All that matters is how we treat one another.

It’s just. That. Simple.

History has shown us countless examples of one group trying to oppress another, with all their reasons and worries that so often amount to little more than the petty desire for power and control, derivative of regurgitated fear, ignorance, and hatred for anything than can be classified as “different.”

History has also shown us that those who preach intolerance and persecution are without question on the wrong side of the fight. As stated by Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, “Those who advocate for expanding the circle of human rights were and are on the right side of history, and history honors them. Those who tried to constrict human rights were wrong, and history reflects that as well.”

This is your chance to get on the right side of history.

So to those who select scorn over love and ignorance over fact, please hear me loud and clear and know that I reach out to you today in the spirit of brotherhood and fellowship so that you, too, may be honored when the dust of time settles and history has documented this very important moment in humanity's perpetual evolution. I assure you, as God is my witness, we are not out to get you. We have no interest in harming your children or unraveling the fabric of society. Homosexuality is not a disease. Same-sex relations are not immoral. Gays and lesbians are not defective human beings, and granting them equal rights is not going to destroy the world. Stop preaching hate under the guise of prayer and be the people of faith you see yourselves as by embracing the truth that nothing is more important than how we treat each other … and I promise you that the beautiful rainbow we see in our sky above us can be yours to enjoy, as well.

Until next time…

-CSS

WATCH THIS! "Zach Wahls Speaks About Family"

Words to Live By

"I want everyone treated fairly in this country. We have never gone wrong when we've extended rights and responsibilities to everybody. That doesn't weaken families, that strengthens families. It's the right thing to do."

-Barack Obama, May 14, 2012

GOOD NEWS! "Poll: Most Americans Support Same-Sex Unions"

From CBS News:

"POLL: MOST AMERICANS SUPPORT SAME-SEX UNIONS" by Tucker Reals

A new CBS News/New York Times Poll shows a solid majority of Americans support legal recognition for same-sex couples - though not necessarily through the official act of marriage - and the number of people who do support full marriage rights for gay and lesbian couples is significantly higher among younger generations.

Overall, 38 percent of those who responded to the survey said same-sex couples should be allowed to marry, just like any other couple. Another 24 percent said civil unions should be used to grant same-sex couples legal rights similar to male-female partnerships. Combined, that means 62 percent - close to two thirds - of Americans believe that same-sex unions should be recognized by law.

Of all those who participated, 33 percent said there should be no legal recognition for same-sex couples.

For the complete article, click here.

GOOD NEWS! "RI Governor Signs Order to Recognize Same-Sex Marriages Performed Out of State"

From The Washington Post:

"RI GOVERNOR SIGNS ORDER TO RECOGNIZE SAME-SEX MARRIAGES PERFORMED OUT OF STATE" by the Associated Press

Rhode Island’s governor on Monday declared that the state will recognize same-sex marriages performed elsewhere, giving gay couples the same rights as heterosexual ones when it comes to health insurance and a slew of other benefits.

The order signed by Gov. Lincoln Chafee in a Statehouse ceremony directs state agencies to recognize marriages performed out of state as legal and treat same-sex married couples the same as heterosexual ones.

Some gay couples married outside Rhode Island — where civil unions are allowed, but gay marriage is illegal — have not been afforded certain rights because state law is not clear on the subject.

In 2007, then-Attorney General Patrick Lynch issued an opinion in favor of recognizing out-of-state same-sex marriages, but it was nonbinding. Chafee said his signing of the executive order is “following through” on that opinion.

The executive order is expected to have many real-world implications. Same-sex spouses of state employees and anyone covered by an insurance company regulated in Rhode Island will be entitled to health and life insurance benefits, gay rights advocates say.

Both partners in a same-sex couple will be able to list their names as parents on a child’s birth certificate, and same-sex couples will be entitled to sales tax exemptions on the transfer of property including vehicles.

For the complete article, click here.

GOOD NEWS! "Illinois Governor Endorses Marriage Equality"

From The Huffington Post:

"ILLINOIS GOVERNOR ENDORSES MARRIAGE EQUALITY" by Kate Sosin

Just three months after teetering on the issue, Illinois Governor Pat Quinn has come out in favor of marriage equality.

"Governor Quinn joins with President Obama in supporting marriage equality and looks forward to working on this issue in the future with the General Assembly," said Brooke Anderson, a spokesperson for the governor, in an email to Windy City Times.

The Chicago Tribune first reported Quinn's announcement, which comes on the heels of President Obama's proclamation to ABC News that he supports marriage equality.

For the complete article, click here.